Thank you Cynthia. I'm doing an interview today with Sid (not her real name) and the story behind 31 Flavors which is based on a true story.
There's been some debate recently about romance novels and how they may destroy a marriage. What do you think of that?
Sid: I think it depends on the person. If you’re insecure in yourself and your relationship, or if you buy into the image of the perfect man then I can see how it might be harmful. Look. Fiction is fiction. It’s not reality. There’s no perfect man. Or perfect Dom. If you don’t know that by now you have more problems than whether to read romance novels. For me it opened my eyes and my mind. It made me get in touch with my femininity and sensual nature. Reading about BDSM specifically made me feel more normal. Like I’m not the only person who craves kinky. I’m not a freak. It’s okay to want these things. It’s okay even to need them. After that I was far more confident in communicating it to my husband. Quite honestly, romance novels saved my marriage.
-- what did you think of sex and talking about it with Nick especially, before reading these novels?
I thought it was shameful. Something to be kept secret.
-- would you ever have discussed BDSM with Nick if you'd not read about it in novels?
Hard to know for sure. Maybe I would have exploded with pent up sexual frustration. Lol. But I don’t think I would’ve ever told him.
-- do you think the unreality and hype in such novels could be a bad thing?
Yes, as I said, when women don’t recognize it for what it is – fantasy. Yes you can experience similar things in real life – good sex, true love – but it will never look exactly the same as in the books. When you start comparing, that’s when you run into trouble. Be grateful for what you have while leaving room for improvement. That’s my advice.
-- what are some of the important things in those novels that may have helped you.
Don’t be embarrassed about my sexuality. It’s okay to want things, need things, that go beyond vanilla sex. And in order for me to be fulfilled, I have to talk. Talk, talk, talk. Even read books or scenes you like out loud for your partner. If you can talk face to face, email. Or text. We did a lot of texting.
Q: Would you say you're unusual in finding the answers to your problems with sexuality from the pages of a fiction book?
Sid: I have no idea but I doubt it. Romance is a popular genre. Women are reading it for a reason.
-- has traditional psychotherapy helped you?
Oh sure. But some things you need to figure out for yourself. Sometimes your greatest epiphanies happen outside of the box.
Q: Do you foresee the rise in eBooks as continuing to open up women to the idea of sex being something that should be discussed openly and not thrust under the carpet?
I sure hope so.
There are some things in life you have to try before you know how they will affect you.
After 5 years of awful sex, I was ready. Bondage and spanking had always featured in my fantasies, and one day, I convinced my husband to try them. That day was a turning point.
Ice cream comes in many flavors and that’s us too -- not vanilla, maybe not Rocky Road either. We can be a combination or make up our own and no one has the right to judge us.
But there will always be one question that tears at my soul: Will my husband, Nick, ever be happy with what I crave?
What the hell possessed me to agree to this?
We have a support post right smack in the middle of our living room. It’s always been a nuisance. I look up at my arms stretched above me. What an understatement now.
My wrists are cuffed together then secured to the post with a rope. I’m naked and Nick has just walked back in the room with a bowl from the kitchen and an evil look in his eye. He still has his clothes on, jeans and polo shirt, and the contrast is disturbing in some nerve wracking way. I yank, trying to free my arms. I’m good and stuck. If I want to hide my body from him, I can’t. My breasts are out there in plain view, exposed and vulnerable. A familiar tightness gnaws inside me, like a hundred little bugs scratching at me, begging to get loose. If things go wrong, I’ll panic again.
“Relax,” he tells me, but the mischievous sparkle doesn’t fade from his eyes. “I won’t touch them with my mouth until you ask me to.”
Yeah right. “If I don’t?”
He lowers himself onto his knees and gives me a steady look. “Then I won’t.” With a smirk, he lifts an ice cube from the bowl. “But you will.”
My eyes must be wide as saucers as I watch him approach my nipples with the cube. Futilely, I lean to the side, trying to get away. The dull pain from the handcuffs reminds me that I asked for this. I take a deep breath and remain still.
The ice cube hits my nipple and I gasp and flinch back. God damn that’s cold.
“Look at it, Sid. Look at how hard they are.”
I look down and see my rosy pink nipples, firm and pointy like little targets for a curious mouth. I pull against the cuffs again. Oh please let him fulfill his promise not to touch them. He circles one nipple with the ice and the water drips down my belly, leaving tingles in its wake. Then he moves to the other nipple. I’m surprised to feel a slight stirring between my legs. My mouth opens. Mesmerized, I watch his fingers only an inch away from me, my skin, my areola. The ice doesn’t hurt. And it definitely doesn’t tickle. Goose bumps dot along my breasts. A drop of water hangs from one nipple. I imagine his soft tongue licking it off and I feel a rush of heat to my middle.
Nick looks me in the eye, excitement brimming in the depths. “I can warm them up for you. All you have to do is ask.”
His warm mouth on my nipples. I shudder. The stirring between my legs becomes a little hotter, melting like the ice. If he put his fingers on my lower lips, would they come away wet?
I never have thoughts like this.
“Okay,” I rasp. “You can lick them.”
The way he studies my breasts as if wondering where to start, creeps me out a bit. Knotted with anxiety, with my very skin constricting, I stop breathing and clench my fingers. The handcuffs clink. But he doesn’t touch me. He exhales a warm breath and heat swirls around my nipples, shooting through my body like hot little sparks.
I moan and strain toward his mouth. “More.”
He looks up at me. “Who’s in charge here?”
I bite down on my lip to keep back a smart-ass remark. But he obliges me and blows hot air on the nipple. Then his tongue inches out, softly flicking the tip. First one then the other. I can’t stop staring at him teasing me, his mouth near me.
It’s so novel for this to be pleasurable, so wonderful, and every little tingle is mimicked below. My need rises to a fever pitch. He swirls his tongue around each nipple, warming me to my core. I squeeze my thighs together and, for once, the idea of him taking me inside his mouth and sucking is exactly what I want.
After one last lick, he sits back and looks me over. His gaze heats me up as much as his tongue did. My breasts seem heavier, fuller.
A sly smirk touches his face then he rises. “I’ll be right back,” he says and disappears upstairs.
Apprehension fills me. What is he doing now? My arms are starting to ache. My knees are getting sore. I wriggle to get more comfortable but it’s useless. I’m stuck until Nick finds it in his heart to release me. This thrills me at the same time as frightening me. I can always say “red”, I remind myself. It’s like a mantra now.
Links for the book and the authors:
31 Flavors releases Valentine’s Day February 14th.
Available from Smashwords, Amazon and on other eBook retail sites like ARE but may take another 2 weeks to get to those.
31 Flavors site – www.thirtyoneflavors.weebly.com
Leia’s site – www.leiashaw.com
Leia’s blog – www.leiashaw.blogspot.com
Leia’s facebook – www.facebook.com/leiashaw
Leia’s twitter - @LeiaShaw
Cari’s website http://www.carisilverwood.net/
Cari on facebook http://www.facebook.com/cari.silverwood
Cari on twitter - @CariSilverwood
Wow! That was great Cari. I understand you've received some nice reviews on this already. Congrats! Thank you for honoring me by stopping by and sharing, Cari.